It is so simple but for years I have searched for the meaning of true love, each time trying to find it outside of myself and then like a lightning bolt it hit me of a sure way in finding true love.
There are articles on How to Overcome Breakups, how to maintain a good relationship, finding the perfect one, compatibility and I could go on, however the art of loving yourself is not only important in the healing process from love lost, but also in finding love. I believe that we cannot truly allow others to love us, until we first love ourselves.
FINDING TRUE LOVE
This may sound very simple when you read it, however try going a week with being by yourself and then explain your mood to me. Another way of looking at this is to imagine each person in a relationship as a wooden stick. If one person is independent and the other is dependent, it’s like one stick is standing perfectly vertical and the second stick is leaning against the vertical stick. If the vertical stick moves horizontally, the leaning stick will fall. When two people are both independent and joined together through love, it’s like two sticks standing vertically. When they join together, they become a larger and stronger stick and they become interdependent and stronger. If one stick moves horizontally, the other stick will move with it.
Practice loving yourself is a sure way in finding true love: take yourself on a date, do things that please and relax you, spend quality time with yourself, write love letters to yourself, practice saying and feeling “I love you” in the mirror.
Additionally, the practice of loving yourself makes you a more attractive person to the outside world.
When you truly love yourself, you will exude and spread a magnetic energy to those around you. Before you know it, you will be surrounded by those attracted to you for who you really are.
Forgiving Our Ex’s
When we hold onto unresolved issues from previous relationships, they become emotional baggage in our future relationships. I’ve found forgiving your ex’s to be a liberating exercise that contributes to the well-being of yourself and your future relationships.
A few years ago I sat down with, or phoned, several of my ex-girlfriends, and apologized for hurt feelings I may have caused, and expressed and forgave them for my own hurt feelings from the relationship. This experience brought closure to those relationships, removed the baggage, and allowed new friendships to develop. You may not need to call up your ex’s, however if you take a minute to evaluate and bring closure to hurt or hurt you may have caused someone, it will make a world of difference to your healing.
The question I am asked too many times is, ‘where can I go in finding true love, that special person?’ and my suggestion is to go through the exercises above to gain clarity on what you need and the types of relationships you want. Then spend time practicing the art of self-loving, while being open to the idea of your ideal mate entering your life. I would not actively seek it. Instead spend your efforts on self-development.