The relationship has ended, whatever the reasons are, you are not thinking about that, you would do any and everything in getting your ex to chase you, however the common mistake that most make is to try to reason with your ex in giving it at least one last try, “the last time—please!”, a mistake that all of us make when we truly love our partner and all we can think about is making it work.
Getting Your Ex to Chase You
The fear of losing a partner will cause us to do desperate things in keeping the relationship, however I will share some things that you should consider if you have found yourself in this position, there are ways in getting your ex to chase you.
Step One: Don’t Disagree With Why Things Ended
The truth is, you broke up for valid reasons. If he/she mentions those reasons, don’t dispute them. Have the courage to hear the truth in what they are saying, acknowledge it and apologize for it. It’s better to be happy and loved than to be right about everything. Wanting to be right (versus hearing the truth of how they felt while in a relationship with you) is your ego stepping in and overshadowing your soul’s desire to be happy and loved.
Step Two: Don’t try to convince your ex to come back
Trying to convince your ex why he/she should come back just pushes them further away. It reinforces why they better off without you because you appear needy and desperate and like you haven’t heard anything they are trying to communicate. Needy and desperate are traits that will kill any attraction any person may have for you. Men are drawn to women who are happy with themselves. So, be happy, live your life and let your radiant energy shine, causing them to second guess why you’re not together. Remember, you are a prize (treat yourself like one). You should never have to convince someone to be with you.
Step Three: Take Responsibility for Your Role in the Breakup
Hard to admit but true: in every breakup you’ve experienced, you were the common denominator. Instead of blaming your ex exclusively for what happened, look within and determine how you specifically contributed to the demise of your relationship. For instance, do you tend to question your ex about their whereabouts because you have a hard time trusting them? If so, those are your trust issues to address and fix, not theirs’s to magically resolve. Do the inner work to learn how to trust your own judgement so that you can be more trusting. That way, if he/she does come back, this issue won’t resurface again and contribute to another breakup. Getting your ex to chase you is not as difficult as you may think.
Step Four: Let Them Come To You
A man places higher value on what he has to work for. When you miss your ex, don’t make it easy for them. Instead of calling him/she during a weak moment, call a supportive friend instead. The space created during your breakup lets him actually see if he misses you. Let them wonder what you’re doing. He/she will begin to contact you because they want to see you, wants a booty call (definitely politely decline), misses you, etc. When she/he reaches out, respond warmly but appropriately until you know what their intentions and motivations are. Avoid having sex with your ex until the issues that led to the break up are resolved.
Step Five: Put Yourself First
Treating your life-like it is important and of value is attractive. So, put yourself first and do what’s best for you. When your ex comes back to you, don’t just pick up where the relationship left off. They’ll have more of an incentive to truly resolve the issues that led to the breakup because they want you back. Now is the time to address and work through these issues. Don’t let them convince you that the problem was yours. Even if the problem started with you, the way they responded or didn’t respond made things worse.
Do the inner work to resolve these issues without letting your ex know you’re doing the work. The reason you don’t need to let them know is because they won’t believe it until he experiences the changes. Just do the work and see how they respond. If the responds is positive, you’re moving in the right direction. If you find with all the work you are putting in the issues still remain the possibility exist that they may not be the one.
Step Six: Hold A Clear and Positive Vision
Be clear about how you want your relationship to be this time around. Then behave and act in ways that support your vision and make you feel good about yourself. Let things unfold naturally and stay open to the outcome. If you find yourself becoming obsessed with getting your ex back, relax and trust that things will work out for your greater good. If your ex doesn’t come back, understand that there may be someone else who is better for you. Let God, the Higher Power, the Universe (or whatever you believe in) bring you the person you’re supposed to be with.
One Very Important Caveat:
Remember, this person is not worth getting back with if you have to convince them to be with you, in your heart you know you are being used, the person is a freeloader, is verbally, physically and/or emotionally abusive towards you, influences you to do things that are immoral, unethical or illegal, has substance abuse problems, blames others and never takes responsibility for themselves, cheats, lies or can’t be trusted.
However things turn out, I promise you—it will be fine. The benefits of my 6-step approach are immense. If he comes back, you’ll have a more loving and fulfilling relationship. You’ll have set a higher standard for how someone loves and treats you. And, if they are not coming back, you are a stronger and better version of yourself. You will attract someone who is therefore better for you. In either case, you will have a more loving relationship with yourself.