There comes a time in every relationship when you just get lazy, so many things can get in the way, familiarity, work, school, and not to mention those hyperactive kids for those who have children, however there are ways in keeping the spark in your relationship.
Familiarity however is the real killer, just imagine for a minute in a world where choices are everywhere, you are in a long-term relationship with someone you see every day or most days for the time you are together, once the effort is not made, it’s all downhill after a while.
We got there! I honestly could not find that spark in our relationship anymore, with all the things we spoke about before marriage, we were now bored out of our minds, we tried for years to get it together but when she felt it, I was out of it, and when I started feeling it, she was already tired and checked out. We would wait until the kids were gone to bed, watch a movie, half way through the movie she was sleeping, movies were not her thing. Our love-making was interesting, once the urge was quenched we both rolled over and went to bed, the routine was now becoming so boring that I could quote the words coming out of her mouth after each session and then the snoring, and even at that juncture, there are still ways of keeping the spark in your relationship.
I sat there in the dark looking through the window in our bedroom, wondering if this was it, if our marriage was doomed to boredom and routine, was this the happily ever after I read in fairy tales and thought I really wanted my happily ever after?
Here are eight things that we could do in maintain the spark in our relationships:
1. Put your phone down
We live in a time technology is the order of our era and if we are not careful, we spend more time with our computers and phones than we do connecting with our partner. Make an effort and put the phone down, keeping the spark in your relationship will take a concerted effort.
2. Make time for a date night
Remember those days when you first met and you would take out your partner to a movie or just go for coffee, keep it up, never stop doing the things that brought you to this point, once you stop feeding the plant, it will certainly die.
3. Be adventurous together
We love routine, if something is working or if it’s not broken don’t fix it. Routines are great to have. They can keep you on schedule and allow you to be productive. But what about doing something new? Wouldn’t this add some excitement and fun to your life? Keeping the spark in your relationship will require you asking the tough questions.
4. Try new things sexually
This is not for those who are having a ball with their sex life, but for those of us who are looking through the window and wondering why the sex is so boring. You would not believe the amount of things you can do in getting back the spark in your sex life, but unless you are prepared to explore things that you are both comfortable with the information is not going to magically come to you.
5. Surprises are always good
Call up a place you have never called before, see what entertainment is out there, may not require too much spending or just rent a couple of bikes and go riding, something different is always a good treat to any relationship.
6. Appreciate each other
Spend some time and see the good qualities in your partner and commit to complimenting your mate. We sometimes after being familiar with someone tend to focus on those things that we do not like, however if we turn that around and spend the time seeing the good side and highlighting those things you would be surprise about the energy that would be transmitted to your special person.
7. Missing each other
Space is good, changing it up sometimes, instead of just going straight home to do the same thing all the time, take an acting class or something, whatever you like to do but do it without your partner.
8. Have fun together
Be spontaneous with your partner, laugh about the serious stuff sometimes, we take ourselves too seriously if you ask me and our society has gotten way too strict with all these rules. If your partner has the wrong skin colour, born to the wrong family and from the wrong region it would suggest that you are both never going to be happy, the past will haunt you both for life, but that is not true, we are responsible for our happiness.