This question was asked by different persons and we decided to share under the topic are you being played?
I’m so Confused… my ex bf left me in March on St Patrick’s Day. He felt I disrespected him for drinking and having too much fun. He had already been in a bad mood when we met up to go out. We had been together for 4 years. It has now been 7 months – however – we have sex on and off since. In May 3 times in one week he changed his mind. He borrowed a lot of money and even wrote a contract signed in June. Has not paid a cent – his rent got increased and lost hours at work. BUT- we started having sex again in Aug,Sept and Oct..Sexting and phone calls.Our last time together was really special. He said so many nice things-treated me like we were as a couple again.
It was Amazing- laughing, talking, spent the night- again last week he called wanting me to come by but I refused- he was drunk. But he said Amazing nice things again… I feel I am being played because of the money – but I feel we could work this out? I am deeply in love with him..I want a second chance- Please Help..Thank you (we are 49 & 51).
You are being played:
Players claim to fall in love — QUICKLY. They give you the sense that they have been waiting and waiting and waiting for someone just like you… and they tell you on the second date. They will start strong—calling often, texting even more often… and it plays right into someone’s self-esteem. Then, once you have slept with them and/or shared your mutual feelings… it stops… and they leave you wondering: “What did I do wrong?” Some will indeed stick around for years as in your case 4 years, the point of you guys having sex on and off was the red flag.
What to do: Be sure to see the signs of this trap. If they are pouring in to you (and your self-esteem) to such an extreme so soon, chances are it’s not real. Granted, love-at-first-sight is a possibility… but if the love is right, it will be there weeks or months down the line.
What to do: Someone who is genuinely into you will make you a priority… beyond just saying the words. And sex is great, but a real relationships needs more than just physical time together.
What to do: Instead of trying to adjust yourself and your expectations (over and over again) for someone who will constantly change the game, you need to make a clear, empowered decision that you will not settle, second-best approach to being involved with you—in any capacity. You are worth more than the way you are being treated, and you need to stop settling for it and tolerating it. Tell them what you want… if they don’t come correct, you are either being played, or they aren’t ready for you.
What to do: He is out with you and you were having fun, then he decides to leave you after 4 years and you wonder why? Just like that the relationship his dead, so he was just waiting for a reason to leave. Major red flag. Great job, no job… cash, no cash — everyone can afford window shopping, talking over a cup of coffee, or just hanging out. If they don’t have a real reason why they are breaking up and not giving you the benefit of the doubt, there is no reason.
If your man was interested in working it out despite you being drunk he would have shown compassion, if someone leaves because they think you are disrespected them because you are just being you, then let them go.