Just another day at work, I could not wait to get home, goodness, not really, I just wanted to be somewhere, anywhere to wind down my weary soul. It has been a few year now however the moment I knew it was over when I was not anxious to go home, I was not feeling my relationship, we were going through the motion and I wanted to do something to get the spark back. We discussed it, argued about it, went to counselling, dated each other like we did when we first met each other… somehow it was the moment you knew it was over, when honestly it did not matter anymore!
I was frustrated and decided to go silent or just wait until we were ready to make a go at it again, maybe this is just a phase that most relationships experience; it was a lonely road. The temptations came on a daily basis, cheating could be a temporary ease to all this, I wanted to but I wanted it all from the woman I vowed to love for better or worse until death and irrespective of my dark feelings, I am still dedicated in being true to that vow. We are not going to fail, even if I have to drag her by the hair, this is it… today!
Me: Hi, how was your day?
Her: It was okay, how was your day?
Me: Just another day at the office, that feeling you get when it is time to move on, but what am I going to do, the bills have to be paid… (LOL!)
Her: I know the feeling too well, I had just a few patients today, it has to get better or I am going to have to run away.
Me: We need to talk, I know you are not a fan of this subject of us, but we cannot continue to live like this, it is not healthy.
She: It certainly isn’t (sigh) let me finish this and then we can talk. (the moment you knew it was over)
Two hours later she was ready to talk…
Me: We sleep in separate bedrooms, we hardly talk to each other, we never discuss our plans for future with each other and when we do it feels and sounds superficial and to be honest, I do not know what to do or where to turn. Let me know what you really want to do, whatever it is I am fine with it.
She: I am sorry, but the feeling is not there, (looking at me with steely eyes, but I remain unmoved and calm) in fact I think we made a mistake by being married to each other, I am in love with someone else, the touch factor is missing, it has nothing to do with you, we are just not compatible.
Me: How long you have been feeling like this?
She: For a while now but I decided that I am content to live like this for the rest of my life, so I never raised the subject. You are a good man, but not the person for me in a marriage.
Me: Well I guess this is it then, because I cannot continue to live like this either, so I guess we need to discuss what we need to do about separating from each other.
She: Sure, that is the only solution to this, I am sorry.
I could share with you what happened to my mind after that dialogue but that is another story for another time, but I will say this to all those who are experiencing this or those who will be experiencing separation soon. Getting angry at your partner for expressing their feelings is not going to make it any easier, the calmer you are the more information you will receive and the more information you receive will definitely contribute to your healing and this healing is important because it will dictate your life after a broken relationship.
Knew it was over when…
Many still suffer after a broken relationship, I will say to you – do not be afraid of what your future life has for you, trust your ability to bounce back and be happy but first you need to take the time to see your relationships as an extension of you, everything in this life is not guaranteed, all things will fade away. Enjoy the person you are with, love them with all you got, do not wait, do not carry a grudge and learn to forgive… Your relationship as it is now may be going very well, then now is the time to put check marks in place. I knew it was over when I started listening. All the fiber in your body will speak the moment you knew it was over.