You probably had your first real fight…the person you know in your heart is the one…your confidante and best friend. Now what? For the record, “IT’S NOT OVER UNTIL IT’S OVER”, with only one exception…that your ex-partner has gotten married.
First and foremost, decide with your heart, soul and spirit if you really love this person. No amount of time will matter if the love you have for this person is real. The time since the break-up could be a week, a month, a year, 5 years or more before you are back together but if you truly love this person time should not be a factor. True love is not logical, it’s emotional. It’s not a feeling, it’s a choice. If there was a true love connection, the only person who can decide that is you, then that experience will always rise above any conflict that rears its ugly head in your relationship. In the words of Rod Tidwell, from the movie, “Jerry McGuire”, “You know when you know”!
Does the person love you?
Sometimes it is best to cut your losses, but of course, only you truly know the answer to this question. Even if your ex-partner is seeing someone else and it looks like their relationship is getting closer, do not be discouraged. I was amazed when Jeff said, “she is with that guy, but I know deep in my heart she still does love me”. I know my ego could not handle that kind of rejection and I would certainly walk away, but if you truly love someone and you know for sure that they love you, put pride aside.
Lastly, give them as much time and space as needed to miss you and they will if the memories you shared made them deliriously happy. You might ask, “Well, how long is that?” As long as it takes…remember, you are in this situation for the long haul if, in fact, you love this person. You can never put a time limit on love.
If it has been a month since you’ve contacted your ex, then do so. If an apology is in order, then make it promptly and in person if possible. You do not need to go overboard, but you do need to be sincere. A mailed letter could be your answer to the process of reconciliation. Sometimes with understanding comes repentance and acceptance and it could require going back to basics and starting all over again.
“So it’s not gonna be easy. It’s gonna be really hard. We’re gonna have to work at this every day, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, you and me, every day…” – Ryan Gosling, The Notebook