It was a beautiful year when I met this wonderful girl. We would talk on the phone for hours in the nights, never wanting to let go from hearing her voice. We would talk about everything. New love, I am not sure there is a sweeter feeling. After a while we decided to be exclusive, the decision was easy enough because most things about the relationship just fell in place. The image of her walking down the road to see me is an image that will always stick in my mind.
After being exclusive for almost 2 years, complacency stepped in, the stress of work, the distance and just those things that would hurt a long term relationship. She decided to take some time for study and take a break from the relationship, she was unable to focus on study and a failing relationship, a decision I could not understand, but nevertheless I gave her the space to operate. When her exams were over, we started talking again, without her saying a word, I knew there was a disconnect. I felt it my gut, but kept it to myself. I should have said something, but I kept the feeling to myself.
One day she called me with a nervous tone and said, “I love you, but not in love with you”. My head went into a spin, my stomach was justified in its feeling, but I do not know if there is anything worse than hearing those words from someone who you love. That helpless feeling, asking yourself the question, what did I do?
I started thinking of ways in getting her back, …where do I go from here was the question. I have learned since that day, that no matter how you love someone, no matter how you perceive a relationship, the words, “I do not love you anymore”, can be thrown at you for any number of reasons, but irrespective of the reasons, you need to know how to pick yourself up and carry on with dignity.
Ensure that if nothing else you are goal oriented, positive, honest in your dealings, finding and keeping your hobbies, smiling with the world, there we are really no guarantees in life. . “I do NOT love you anymore” is really not about you, it’s about the other person’s position after evaluation. I have noticed that when you have given everything in a relationship and another person treat your love with scant regard, it is a down feeling, but if you see persons as fallible and capable of making a mistake, your forgiveness will be swift.
I write because in my heart I know for all who have been hurt by love, when indeed they gave genuinely, it is just a matter of time before they are up and running again, you reap what you sow, and the world will smile back at you and love will come your way. Please be patient, It will be worth it in the end.