In our society relationships are falling fiercely, and the society is not sure what to do and the typical question is “when it all started”. Every day I check the tabloids just to see another person’s heart being broken and I live the feeling being a divorcee myself.
For those of you who are still married, not because you made a vow it is suggesting that the other person you are with will stick it out because of a vow, so you just have to dig deeper than that and look for the signs and work against the signs. The more knowledge we have of the things that could work against our marriage the better it will be for the relationship.
One of the first thing you will feel is that you cannot do anything right, it is like a constant attack on your personality, the way you do things and it leaves you afraid of trying to make a decision for fear of being criticize by your partner. Bring their attention to this, but it is the way you address the issue that will make a difference.
The second thing you will feel is you and your partner do not have anything in common. I am not saying that you don’t, but it just feels that way, and even when you take the time to take the person on a date, you cannot find anything to talk about, just steer aimlessly around on everything else except the company you are with.
Is your partner no longer sharing information with you about their career, personal problems or personal achievements? Is your partner sharing this information with a friend and you hear it second hand? When you become the last to know important information there has been a huge breakdown in communication. This is a sign! I was talking to a friend and she told me how my ex-wife felt about me doing a minor operation and my ex never had that conversation with me, I knew it was coming to an end.
When your partner does not care anymore about your opinion about what they wear, how they look and just their general hygiene, some will go to bed without having a bath and would even say to you that they cannot make love because they did not have a bath, you know those are signs that the relationship is in trouble.
If the television is on constantly, you both sit with your face buried in a book or you always have something else that needs to be done there may be a problem. Haha! If your partner is on Photoshop every night and she is not a Graphic Artist then be nervous. It is common for individuals to find such distractions to avoid dealing with a troubled marriage.
One common thing is if you find that you are arguing over the same things all the time then you are both stuck, this is a sign that the relationship is in trouble. I would recommend at this time for you both to make a date to seek a counselor bearing in mind that counselling will not save your marriage, it will give you information as to whether you should save it or move on.
A considerable decline in physical affection is one of the most recognized symptoms of a failing relationship. Intimacy is the act that allows us to bond as husband and wife. If your partner is showing no or very little interest in intimacy with you then they are showing little concern for their emotional bond with you as a husband/wife. They will be in that bed with you every night and if you do not initiate it is okay with your partner, it is time to take notice.
All that I have shared is out of my own experience, but you know what, I thought some magical thing would happen and it was just a phase relationships went through and it would be better, but NO! It is time for you to get working on your marriage, because without your input, with even a vow for better or worse until death, you marriage will die.