Get cracking guys, we should be at the game trail by dawn or your kill will be boring, and so for most our lives we are known to be hunters, yet I have girlfriends telling me that they have not been asked out by a man in the longest while.
Most men are hunters how it that? We were trained to see that special person and go for it and irrespective of the changes in our society as it relates to the chemistry with men and women not much has changed.
There are many myths about men’s sexual preferences. A well-known psychologist Annette Orlova helped us understand which of them are pure fiction, and which are true.
A man must hunt for sex; otherwise he would quickly cool off towards his woman. I am not sure about that, but there could be some truth to it.
“Men are hunters (real men), so the process of conquest is very important for them,” says Annette Orlova. “Today, of course, no one judges as strictly as twenty years ago, but men have certain images in their heads, some ideas that are like flashcards with notations: “a woman for friendship,” “a woman to love,” “a woman for entertainment.” The most difficult thing is to move from one category to another.
That is, if in his eyes you’ve earned the stamp “a girl for the evening, “regardless of how good you were, he will hardly likely be able to take you more seriously.
A similar conclusion was made, incidentally, by practicing American psychoanalyst Zooey Shtrimpel. According to her, men almost never consider a girl who had agreed to sex too easily as a potential partner. According to the elementary male logic, there is no point in starting a serious relationship if this lady is so easy and fast to get.
The more you ignore the man, the more he is interested in you. I know you have heard about that, silly isn’t it? I think it is, makes no sense at all, so we can leave that one alone.
This stereotype can be dangerous. Yes, on the one hand, the object of your interest may trigger the infamous instinct of the conqueror, and the man will start conquering you. But, on the other hand, many men are scared to death of any refusal, moreover, are discouraged to enter into a relationship at all. So we have to act carefully, with no theatrical gestures, depending on a situation.
“For example, when he calls, do not run headlong to the phone, but rather flirt a little, as if you have nothing in common,” Orlova recommends. “If you are really interesting in him, he would be lured and will play along, but if there is no sufficient interest there, he can quit and start looking for someone else is his phone book. It all depends on a particular man, his views, and the image of the ideal woman he created for himself.
So you fell for a hunter, you start calling him up every day, you argue with him about his lack of phone calls after a while and this was not the way he started out to begin with. The more you push at him the more he fades and you can never understand why guys are like that. Instead of allowing the hunter to chase you are chasing the hunter and you wonder why you never hear from him anymore. Men are hunters, nothing is going to change that, not an invested relationship, marriage or exclusivity.
“Even the evolutionary order states that a man strives for the greatest number of sexual contacts. So, it is not surprising, though very disappointing for women,” Annette Orlova says.
But it is not so bad. The evolutionary features of male psychology often overlap with childhood experiences and traumas. Incidentally, this is a common problem for both sexes.
“An adult, a child, and a parent live in each of us. In different ways, in different situations, different roles manifest themselves. For example, if a man meets a woman much older than him, perhaps he is seeking the attention required by his inner little boy. Most likely, in his childhood he had a deficit of these feelings, or was forced to leave home early,” explains Orlova.
Men like unapproachable women.
Despite the instinct of a hunter we mentioned earlier, too proper and strict ladies can scare any Casanova away.
“When dealing with such women men feel that they are not looking for mere flirtation and game. They understand that here they will have to take some responsibility, at least on the emotional level, and men are very afraid of this,” says Orlova.
However, there should be a golden middle here. Recently, European psychologists found that men are repulsed by women’s loud laughter, because they subconsciously perceive it as a sign of promiscuity. This means that excessive willingness to flirt is also not attractive for men, and they prefer to stay away from too frivolous ladies.
Double standard you may call it, the differences with the sexes I will choose to call it. On whatever level i think once we understand this basic element about men and so a woman doesn’t see herself as a prey she will definitely know how to handle her hunter.