Seven years ago when I got married, I remembered saying to my ex, let us pray–her reaction to this was, “you pray”. This continued for some time and I was surprised by her reaction. Surprised because we are both from the same denomination, so it was an unusual experience in her pushing back on prayer. Each time I would request her to pray she would ask me to pray, so I decided to ask her about this only to be told, “I honestly do not see why we should pray, what good is it?” I was beside myself, all my life I would pray for travelling mercies, for the meal, just about every move I pray to God, but it was always done because it was a custom and in a sense I could relate to what she was feeling, so it just fell in place that we should pray for your relationship.
Studies have shown that 90% of people in churches do not have a praying life. Most people feel guilt, confusion and frustration. So on the outside things are working correctly. But internally, there is no functional, ongoing relationship with their God. This kind of Christianity cannot withstand the onslaught of a postmodern world. It is a tinderbox for cynicism. I was asked to pray at my church and I went online and Googled prayer, I honestly did not want to sound like the usual member who is praying and hoping that the congregation will say, “hey that was a good prayer”, talking to God as if he was an invigilator with a book, checking for grammar, diction and contents.
How do you begin to develop a life of prayer? The feeling of helplessness is necessary. Feeling that you are completely unable to do life on your own, to do life without Jesus. God needs to be active in all of the details of your life. I think that is a big reason why Jesus tells us to be like little children. Here are some passage regarding this call: Mark 10:13-16, Mark 9:33-37, Matthew 7:7-11, Luke 10:21, Matthew 21:14-17, John 5:19, Matthew 6:9-13, and Mark 14:36.
I had no choice of just accepting her position and then the relationship just started slow fading, which is a reaction of someone who has lost interest in a relationship but for some reason is unwilling to talk about it, my only recourse was to pray for the relationship.
During the slow fading phase I started praying for the relationship, having frequent sessions talking to God, it felt he was not listening, until one day I felt a touch on my shoulder while I was praying, I actually thought someone stepped in the room, but I was alone when I looked around and I immediately felt a peace that I have never felt before.
Pray for your relationship, ask God to give you insight, so the person you are with is the person for you, or the person that you are attracted to is the right one, ask for help in seeing pass the bling, glamour and for you to see the heart. Ask boldly that he provides you with the right attributes for your relationship and that the person is compatible with you. Pray earnestly, consistently and even when you think, ‘this is pointless’, keep praying and you will see, that having a sincere prayer life will yield good fruits. God has promised that if you are His child, he will be with you in all things.