Relationship can be complex, then on the other hand a relationship can be simple, interesting and wonderful, I have seen it too many times, the trust and honesty with two persons who are ready to give each other of themselves. The stages of a relationship is interesting and an understanding of its dynamics can assist in making the journey seamless.
Relationship has stages and I would love to share the stages with you because at the end of it, when you know the stages you will realize that being ready and prepared is the surest way to succeed. As intelligent as we think we are, our need for love does not suggest we are prepared for an intimate relationship, there is work to be done.
There are 5 distinct stages to most relationships (the ones that last long enough that is:
The first is the ROMANCE stage. At this stage you remember all the romantic novels and movies that you have seen, and so you play a role and label this as something ideal. The one where you get a pain in your tummy if you haven’t seen your loved one for a day, the one where you get a panic attack if they don’t ring when then say they were going to call. If a day should pass and you do not hear from your significant other the world is going to come to an end.
The second stage is the Power Struggle Stage the need that needs to be satisfied now is power and some freedom. There is an awareness now that you are different but the premise remains. That differences are bad. The problems are crystal clear and you focus on every minute detail-your differences are magnified. You seem to have nothing in common anymore. Everything the other person does is wrong and if they do not change those qualities how on earth is it going to work? There is a pulling away from each other, a need for space, a chance to breathe…all of which are quite normal, stages of a relationship. This is a critical stage where separation and divorce occurs most frequently.
Then you have the Stability Stage. This is a beautiful stage the need satisfied in this stage is freedom and choice. You are now aware of each other’s personal world instead of just your own and the difference is okay. It is finally clear you are not going to reshape your partner. Clear boundaries are determined and understood, you accept each other’s faults and all. The stages of a relationship is important for individuals to be aware.
The Commitment Stage is the only stage where there really is a readiness for marriage though people usually have already thought of a wedding with all the frills that comes with it in the romance stage. The thought of marrying this person is not frightening, you feel accepted and understood and an argument can be diffused easily because you know what emotional words can cause an argument .
Stages of a Relationship
The Collaboration stage is that stage when two persons have decided that this is it, we are a team, you like blue and I like red and so we will incorporate both colours in our lives. How can we now balance our lives so we can move beyond the relationship and balance relationship and personal without neglecting our world or the relationship. These stages are not a linear process; it is a circle spiralling upwards so when you hit a certain stage in the power struggle, it becomes easier. You revisit stages and bring them forward as you grow as a couple, you are in one stage or another at any given time with bits of the others. Knowledge of these different stages helps moving through them.
Inspired by Johnny Nicks.