When it comes right down to moving in before marriage, this is a personal choice and if your religion allows it.
I entered marriage with my expectations knowing in my heart that we were going to make it. My religion doesn’t allow couples to live together before marriage and to be honest with you I am still at that place where I know I would feel uncomfortable doing it even at this stage of my life, but there are some questions I needed to have asked and maybe my experience would have been different today.
Check this out and maybe it will save you from making the wrong decision or sticking with the right one.
Is your partner a slob?
This is one of the things you need to know, you do not have to move in, however I made the mistake of marrying her right out of her mother’s house, she lived on her own for a short while, but too short for me to have assessed whether she was a slob or not. It is always better to allow the person to be the slob in their environment and do not think that is going to change after marriage.
Building a routine together
Lydia my very good friend is living with her boyfriend for 6 years and talks about how comfortable it is for her, as they do things together and he also knows her routine. When she gets from work, the days when she is more likely to be stressed as he brings home dinner without her even having to ask, it is not very easy to know someone’s routine if you do not spend a lot of time together, I think it’s best to spend time together and if you have questions, ask!
The con to that however is Lydia is so comfortable now that when he boyfriend proposed she said let us wait, she was afraid that marriage would messed up their flow. I thought she did not have anything to look forward to because after 6 years with someone then what?
Old habits die-hard
Those disgusting habits. I tell you it was a shock when I realize that I had this habit of leaving candy paper on the table behind me when I was watching the games. My ex was totally upset when I did it, and to be honest I was not even sure why I did, just a bad habit. Sometimes, those dishes in the sink, the way your partner would even brush their teeth and you can stay at the opposite side of the house and hear their body sounds, can drive a couple crazy!
Con: The thing is if you are living together these are things you can address and if it cannot be addressed then there was no marriage so you can leave without any strings attached.
Finally, the financial aspect of it all is something you’ve got to think about. You can actually get a better and bigger apartment or house if you are both putting in for the deposit and the rent. Keep that in mind whenever you are looking at places.
While living together before marriage might not work out for everyone, there are tons of benefits to it. Remember, it’s a personal choice and nobody should ever pressure you! However I have seen enough of Divorce Court to know that sometimes living together with someone who is financially incapable can be a nightmare.
It really comes down to your personal choice in the end, but one thing is sure, there are some things you need to know about your partner before taking those vows.
Erica who lived with her boyfriend for 8 years declared that she was surprised that after they got married, he just changed overnight. The man who never demanded of her to cook for him was suddenly not interested in lifting a helping hand in the kitchen and all he had to say about that was now that they are married could not reasonable expect him to behave the same? Makes no sense, but these are some of the things that happens in a relationship, and if we do not ask the right questions of our partners we are surprised by their perspective, we should leave no stone unturned.