It has been a while now that the feeling of just running away has been haunting me, so why can’t I just get up and write a blog about nothing, would you read it from beginning to end?
I have been making mistakes for a couple of years now and I am really disappointed in myself and I have tried so many things and so I am making notes. It was Michael Jordon that said, “I have missed over 9000 thousands shots in my career, lost over 300 games, 26 times was trusted to take the game winning shot and missed, I have failed over and over in my career—that is why I succeed”.
I have read motivational articles till my eyes hurt, I have listened to motivational speeches so many times that I can quote an entire paragraph of most, been to College and sat at the feet of some of the most learned lecturers on the planet, yet I feel like I under achieved.
Saw a man on the corner, our eyes locked, he was homeless and wanted to approach me for something but I gave him the look, that angry look when you do not want to be bothered by beggars, he knew the look very well and went on his way. When he walked away I felt guilt, the kind of guilt you feel when you were mean to someone and immediately knew you went over the top. Gosh, I felt guilt, but it quickly left, now I am feeling nothing.
Sure I could turn this blog about nothing into something, but at the moment, I just want to vent and who says there has to be a solution to my feelings, why can’t I accept that failure is a part of life and I am failing and there is nothing I can do about it, accept that poverty could be my fate and I should learn to accept that too. Will I ever hear the words, ‘I am proud of you’ from persons who mean the world to me? Maybe never; I have life and I believe in God, however is that enough? Do I have to be a Saint to experience peace and prosperity?