It is another week of work, you sit at the dining table preparing yourself for another week of work, while your significant other does the same, occasionally looking at each other and maybe having the chatter of who you both saw over the weekend, how you are going to pay for Johnny’s extra classes, the refrigerator is not working on optimum and you do not have the means to fix it, not all that important but talking points. Getting the spark back is on your mind, however do you want to have one of those conversations that leaves you feeling like you are begging for attention?
Your marriage for the most part is just okay, soon you will be going to bed and all you want to do is sleep, in your heart you are wondering how did it come to this, even the naked body of your partner is not doing it, all you can see are those flaws, they were hot when you were dating and in fact you could not wait to take their clothes off, however now… nothing!
You have a couple of kids and you cannot even remember how you got them, your partner is always tired, always making excuses and you are at your wits end. That person in the office who gives you the eye, if only you were single again.
You may have tried everything there is in the book, however did you try these?
- We have heard it all before, never stop dating. Believe it or not dating your partner has some benefits to it, the dating is not the problem but there are some rules that you will ignore. Focus on the date, not on any other conversation that you would normally have at home.
- Be creative and send your partner a card just because. Find the positive things you like about your partner and mention this in the card. Not expensive is it and you can do it while you are having lunch, just take a couple minutes to say something nice to your partner, it will go a long way in getting the spark back.
- Make your relationship a priority, if you make your partner a priority chances are they will make you a priority too, just give it with love and laugh until it hurts.
- Pay your partner compliments and mean it, the spark is gone, during this time it is hard to see the beautiful things about your partner, however they are the same wonderful person you marry and so if you check it out, there is always something beautiful you can find to compliment your partner. Try it you will see the difference it makes in getting the spark back.
- Break the routine by inserting a jump drive with your favourite songs and dance, just 6 minutes of this can add 6 more years to a failing marriage, just look into your partner’s eyes, hold their hand, a peck on the lips each time you leave each other’s presence and I really am not implying every time but when you are going away for a while, in other words mix up your affection and be adventurous.
- Last but not least, turn off the television, turn off the phone and talk. There are rules to talking, it is important to know how to talk to your partner and getting their attention, all will contribute in getting the spark back.
“A lot of people think fighting is a sign of an unhealthy marriage, but it can actually be a good thing. Couples who express their anger to each other live longer than those who swallow negative feelings in order to keep the peace.” — Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD