It was many years ago, however, I still remember it as it were yesterday. My uncle decided he was getting married, there was something about my uncle that I appreciated, he is a praying man, so this would be my first wedding and I was asked to be the page boy. The excitement was high for me, especially getting my first suit, new shoes, new everything for this special day. We had rehearsals on the night before the wedding and I was asked to walk with the flower girl, what?
She would slip her hand on my arm and I should lead her down the aisle, this was what a man was supposed to do, are you kidding me? I was confused, angry and hurt… I just wanted to walk by myself, no one prepared me for this. That was the first time I heard the word chivalry. According to Wikipedia, “Courtly love (or fin’amor in Occitan) was a medieval European literary conception of love that emphasized nobility and chivalry. Medieval literature is filled with examples of knights setting out on adventures and performing various services for ladies because of their “courtly love“. It has its place, quite frankly it would appear that the persons who understand how to apply this to their experience have more fulfilling marriages and relationships.
The question is chivalry important in a functional relationship?
When we think of chivalry we think of pulling out a chair, opening a door, giving a girl your jacket when the time is cold, and these are really small things and they are overlooked, but let us explore the importance of this small act.
It would be better if we paid attention to these small things, most guys think is taking her to the expensive restaurant that gets her heart, driving a fancy car, wearing an expensive suit. However, if you take the effort in opening the door, pulling out the seat on your date, you will observe a remarkable response that you would never imagine.
I took a couple months in committing my time to observe men and women who observe the impact of chivalry and my observation left me speechless.
Pay attention to details, there are several things that go into a date, but there are some things you can do in enhancing your date by applying chivalry.
Pay her a compliment.
Open the car door for her.
If you are at a restaurant, take her coat, pull out her chair.
Be engaging, make eye contact while you speak to her and ensure that you are listening to her when she is speaking without interrupting her. (Best compliment from a woman is when she says, you are such a gentleman).
People who care about each other like sharing, always order something that you can both share separate and apart from the main course of course.
The evening is over and so this is the part that can make or break your evening. Depending on your situation improvise, however, I am going to share this much with you. You do not have to say much while driving her to her destination, please pay attention. Open the door for her when you get to her destination, say to her, “I will get your door”, then walk around to her door, take her hand while she is coming out of the vehicle, walk slightly behind her while you take her to her door, when you get to her door look her straight in the eyes and tell her you had a lovely time, and that she was great company!
Do not just say that you have a lovely time without saying what specifically appealed to you about the evening, the eye contact will declare if you should go in for the kiss if you notice any hesitation do not be flustered, wish her a good night and leave. If numbers were exchanged then if you promise to call her then call, even if your call is, “hey, I had a wonderful time last night, however, this is just a quick call to be sure you are okay”
I can guarantee that after this you will be able to appeal to the one you are truly attracted to and you can testify indeed that chivalry is certainly not dead.