The decision to start dating after a breakup is always a tough decision.
There are no blueprints on this one, it is most times decided by an individual and his/her environment. Dating and recovering from breakups are highly subjective, personal experiences, so there is no one formula or rule to use to determine when, exactly, it is appropriate to dip one’s metaphorical toe back into the proverbial dating pool.
It can be very difficult if you were attracted to someone before the actual agreement to separate, you just want to jump in, but what are people going to say?
Figuring out when is the right time to start dating is not determined by a timeline. I know folks who after just 6 months are married and are still happy, and I know of folks who waited for a number of years, in fact, lived with each other and after marriage, within months it was over.
It really is about just giving yourself as long as it takes in getting to that place of coming to terms with the positives and negatives of the relationship, to the point when you know for sure you can be objective about the break. Whether you are responsible for the break or not, if you got the place of acceptance then what a wonderful place to be.
He left her, he was very sure after being married to her for twenty-two years it was never going to get any better and so he had to leave. His only concern was his 9 years old son who he loves to death. When he left he actually had a friend who was waiting for 4 years, in his mind, however, he had given up on the marriage way before meeting that friend so he was not leaving to be with the friend, she just happened to be there. People were not going to understand his reason but he did not care.
After the decision was made, his family and friends thought he was terrible for having done this to his family and to date he is still paying the price.
When we decide to walk away from a relationship or if our partner decides to walk away from us, there are some things to take into consideration, the purpose of this article is not to get into the considerations but to say to those who are just out an exclusive relationship and has decided to move on.
You don’t need to totally forget about your ex in order to achieve the necessary vulnerable feeling that is required for a healthy relationship. A person who is ready to date and starts a new relationship knows how to think critically about the relationship that has ended.
“They have learned lessons from their past relationship and see it as a stepping stone to becoming a wiser dater; one who has more clarity about what will work for them in a relationship in the future,” said Pastor Bignall in a Relationship Seminar. When is it okay to Start Dating after Breaking Up? When your heart is ready.
This however requires time.
However long it takes most times depends on how long and serious the relationship was, how bad was the breakup and the way you process things and I would think we process intimacy based on our attachment style.
Each breakup is different, some will pin you to a wall and you will feel you are being beaten with the ropes they used to beat the slaves, your body will burn, your heart will ache, but on the other hand, sometimes within days or even weeks, you are up and running again.
Take the time to process your past and only you alone can know what works for you, the bottom line is doing what you can to ensure a happy & romantic future.