It is going to happen, no matter how nice a person you are; conflicts will always be a part of your development and your life.
We deal with people every day, some from backgrounds very different from us, so we will have differences in opinions and approach. I am taking the time to emphasize the conflict of relationships as my observation is relationships are dying because of the absence of us following some basic rules in how we communicate with each other. Persons are constantly breaking up over misunderstandings that could have otherwise been prevented if they just took the time to listen to each other.
The number one reason I find is we talk over our partners in an argument, we shout to be heard and if that fails we hurt them by saying things that we know will give us the edge in making our point. Mocking or insulting your partner during conflict is just another way of making dents in the relationship that sometimes cannot be rectified.
The first reaction in correcting our reaction is to breathe because if something is said it triggers a reaction that hurts and so we go back to when we were kids we threw a tantrum. We are not children any more or words cannot be taken back, so before we say a word, think about it. Sometimes all it needs is a moment of silence, if your mind is still cloudy say to the person ‘let us discuss this another time and place’ and just wait for your mind to clear, normally it does.
Never take it personally when the person who is coming at you. People sometimes resort to self-preservation and will shout, cry, break things, and hurl insults when they are in a corner, so once you are NOT taking it personally the conversation will improve.
One of the best ways I find is to ask for a timeout or disarm the conversation. Leave the room and then after your breathing is normal and you feel you can address the issues without the drama then you are in a good place. If you have tried a couple of times with the same result then try for another day and time.
One of the things that can kill a relationship is withholding affection after an argument. No matter how bad the disagreement has taken out of you, do not withhold affection, just be very good to your partner, say good things, the faster you can move on from the conflict the better it is for the relationship.
Reconnect as quickly as possible, do not wait days to reconnect as this can trigger insecurity in the relationship. This is the time to not hold a grudge, to hold on to who is right and wrong, but to say “I am sorry we argued, are you okay?” Do not let the feeling linger or the mind will start self-preserving and find ways of not repeating the feelings and then it may start shutting out the partner, which is when all hell can break loose.
Let us preserve our relationships by implementing positive actions, it is so good when it is working, isn’t it?