Ever felt really tired but you were not even sure what was contributing to the feeling? We all experience at times, not being able to pin down the reason for feeling tired and fatigue but the feeling is undeniable. You are so unstable that everyone has to move out of your way?
Emotional intelligence is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. Interestingly enough we do think that we do not have the power to regulate the feelings of family and friends, but we do have the ability to impact others around us, we just have to first learn to regulate the feelings inside.
My mother can get down on herself, to the point of depression. Having suffered two nervous breakdowns, I decided it was necessary to experiment a bit on emotional intelligence. It was Justin Bariso who said, “Emotional intelligence begins with what is called self and social awareness, the ability to recognize emotions (and their impact) in both yourself and others. That awareness begins with reflection. You ask questions like:
What are my emotional strengths? What are my weaknesses? How does my current mood affect my thoughts and decision-making? What’s going on under the surface that influences what others say or do?
Pondering questions like these yield valuable insights that can be used to your advantage.”
We may not have much control over the feelings that hit us, these feelings can be triggered by the images around us, a familiar smell or even an unfamiliar one and despite our inability from preventing a bird from flying on our heads, we can prevent the bird from building a nest.
It was a deep conversation with my mother that led me to believe that we have more control than we think we do. She just kept saying, “I cannot help it”, she did not even try. Her grandmother and then her mother both had breakdowns and they never recovered.
I find that when someone is able to demonstrate empathy, the ability to put their foot in another’s shoe, preventing themselves from labelling and judging others, working hard to see things from their eyes. I am not suggesting that you are going to agree with everything a person says, but striving to understand where the person is coming from will allow you to build more meaningful relationships.
There is the side of emotional intelligence that I find fascinating and that is the ability to recognize when someone is being exploited or manipulated to promote self and having a personal agenda or for selfish gain.
Not much is offered here on the subject, but this is just a blog that is suggesting that we take emotional intelligence to another level, it is probably one of the important factors that could enhance a great relationship and its absence could contribute to a failed one.