One of the important factors in a relationship is trust, every relationship needs trust as a foundation to survive. Friendships that are built on trust are more likely to survive than relationships that struggle with the trust factor and an understanding of the levels of trust.
We were born with a reservoir of basic trust, even as children the ability to feel safe is determined by a number of factors which mostly is affected by our life experiences.
“But once trust is earned, it should never be taken for granted. You can lose trust in an instant, and it can be very difficult, if not impossible, to earn back”, says Jesse Lyn Stoner.
The question is, what is trust? It does mean different things to different people, however, in the context of the article, we could say, it’s a firm belief in the reliability, truth, ability, or strength of someone. A better understanding of trust is to look at the levels.
Rules-based. There are some common rules that govern how we relate to each other that are in a set of rules. These rules govern our mode of movement in the way we interact with each other, it prevents us from taking advantage of each other. Once a conversation is had, it is expected that each individual will hold up their end of the bargain, once there is a breach of trust it may be difficult to reconcile in the future.
Knowledgebase trust. This level is saying, I have enough experience and exposure to your personality to know what you are capable of doing and what you are not capable of doing. Persons in long-term relationships or who have worked with each other for years from experience can make an informed decision about how a person is going to react to a specific scenario.
Identity-based trust. This level is critical to the success of an intimate relationship because now you are asked to trust someone with your feelings, dreams, hopes, goals, ambition, fear and doubts. You are actually saying to someone, hey, I have allowed myself to be vulnerable to you, I am trusting you not to hurt me.
This level of trust is important to most relationships with spouse, children, parents and close friends. With the proper understanding of boundaries, you can unlock wonderful things about you and others.
For some when there is the ability to trust persons around them, especially when you know they have your back, you can soar so high, it does make for a better relationship when we have an understanding of trust and what components are important.
Just recently my son asked to take the car for a spin, so I answered by saying to him, when get older I will let you have a spin. His question to me was, “Why not, you do not trust me?”
I trust him, however, he has never driven a car before and lacks the experience. Without the experience, he could probably go and drive and bring back the car in one piece, but he also could go and destroy the car, I would be taking a risk on my part.
I never gave him the keys, the risk was too great.
Take the time to investigate the trust level in your relationship and see what happens, I am sure your self-awareness will spill positively on your important relationships.