How to make him commit? this is a question I have been asked about so many times I have decided to write a blog about it. There are some similarities however with the women that ask that particular question and since this article is not about who these women are, I will skip that and just go talk about a couple of things that are important in making a man commit.
The most important thing is to know that you have a choice and once you find yourself in a relationship with someone and they are not giving you what you want as much as it may hurt once you can take that bold step of letting them know that you can do differently, that is the first rule to empowerment.
Real relationship success is not about making a relationship with someone work when, at your core, you and he are ultimately incompatible. It can be hard to see if you’re blinded by fears of loss, self-doubt and relationship fantasies that you want to come true…
Make him Commit
Relationship Rules to Live By
The thing to realize is people with great relationships don’t have great relationships because they know great relationship secrets or psychological loopholes of the male mind. Fundamentally, people in the best relationships all have one thing in common: they don’t have relationships with people who are not a good match for them. They don’t let them into their life.
And what’s the easiest way to know if they’re a good match or not? Plain and simple – how do you feel about yourself when you’re with that person? Do you feel better about yourself? About life? About the things that upset you? Do you feel you are being heard?
Do you feel insecure? Do you feel like you’re walking on eggshells? Do you feel like you’re suffocating… holding your breath in anticipation of a relationship that you desperately want to come into existence but always seems just out of reach? Helpless, powerless, and afraid they’ll do something to hurt you?
How you feel with the person you’re with is the best indication of whether you’re with someone who’s compatible or not. How much you want it to work is the worst indicator of a good relationship.
The energy you put into the relationship is the only thing that matters. Putting energy doesn’t come from a self-absorbed place, it isn’t attached to feelings of anxiety, fear, worry, anger, rage, resentment. You are outside of yourself and putting energy into giving him that “extra something” that makes you valuable, rare, and inspirational to the guy. Make him commit is more about finding you than changing him.
I don’t care if you like it, making him commit will come with some challenges. I don’t care if you think it’s fair or unfair. It is a simple truth that people value those who bring a unique, special, meaningful value to the table. If you honestly think that you can have a man want you and only you forever without bringing something deeply valuable to him… then you’re either choosing very low-quality men or you just haven’t thought it through. This is going to require more than just what you think you want. See the conversation on this link.
Sex is not enough. And loving him the way you want to be loved is not enough either. To make him commit or choosing you, it has to be about loving him in the way that’s deeply meaningful to him. Your energy would be better spent figuring out what this is rather than worrying about him leaving you.