Asking for your partner’s hand in marriage is one of the most important things a person will do in their life. Therefore, a good deal of consideration should be put into the timing and setting of this event. Once you are certain that they are the one, getting the blessings from friends and family then there are just a few things to consider. The marriage proposal to your partner must be approached with some considerations.
First, this is a memorable moment, which will be told and retold over the years to your friends, family, children, and grandchildren. Make it a story worth telling. Secondly, everyone is different; make your proposal specific to their taste and personality. Some persons would love nothing more than to have all their friends and family be witness to the event, while others would much prefer a private and intimate moment with you alone. First and foremost, make sure the way in which you ask makes it comfortable for all involved.
Do not propose if you are head over heels in love. Being in love is drunkenness and impaired judgment. It tends to peak early, then declines — regression to the mean. Real love tends to build over time, not decline. If the crazy love has worn off but you just really like having your SO around, and imagine a life with your SO is a hell of a lot better than a life without them, and you can tell that they are going to be a good partner and a great parent to your children, then go for it.
Marriage is a vast edifice deserving of a strong foundation. Don’t build it on the flimsy leaves of infatuation.
Consult with family and friends.
I guess you are going to do it anyway, propose especially when you feel all those butterflies churning in your stomach, unable to sleep with all the thoughts of being with the one you love, so if that is the case then consult.
Please consult your best friends before you make the final decision. If a unanimous chorus of your buddies says we don’t really like her, you should listen. One or two of your crew may respond out of jealousy, perhaps a statistical anomaly. But all of them —for the guys your female friends and for you ladies your male friends, and your parents and your sister?
The wise men of the east say that the knife can’t cut itself, and the tongue can’t taste itself. And you are too close to yourself to be able to see clearly what you’re getting yourself into. Consult reliable outside opinion before taking the plunge.
Make promises you know you can keep. When you make a promise, keep it, even if it costs you more than you expected or you have to work much longer on it than you intended.
Do not make promises you cannot keep or that you do not know you can keep. If you are unsure whether you can keep a promise, explain this and perhaps negotiate another promise that you can keep. Sometimes it is best to promise that you will try, though be sure the other person understands that you are not promising to deliver. A proposal is not marriage and you should both have an understanding of what is necessary and apply.
A useful saying is ‘Under-promise and over-deliver’. Do not promise too much. Then deliver more than you promised. In doing this only deliver a little more. If you deliver too much you can cause embarrassment or cause suspicion as to your intent. Just be very clear with your proposal, do not fall to the pressure of any sort if you are realizing things are not clear as you thought they were.
Have a discussion, make it clear. Finally, Like many romantic displays, a marriage proposal that seems cliché to one person is a dream come true for another. This must be left to your personal discretion. However, kneeling in front of your lady with a ring and a rose, whatever the setting may be, is timeless. However there are many methods that can be used, personally, if a woman who I was not sure about, got on her knee in public with roses and a ring, I am not sure how I would react, but that would, however, be very embarrassing for the both of us.
Marriage is a beautiful thing, let us not get it twisted when we end up with the wrong partner and then blame marriage as the culprit.