It is said that moderation is good, too much of anything can hurt you and that includes sex.
So I guess the question is how do you actually know when it is not moving in a healthy way and it is time to pay attention? Sex addiction, cause and effect… is a subject that most are uncomfortable with.
How to know that you are dealing with an addiction:
A sexual addiction can manifest itself in many ways, so you will need to look for a variety of possible warning signs that you or your spouse or partner is a sex addict. Kathryn A. Cunningham, PhD, director of the Center for Addiction Research at the University of Texas Medical Branch in Galveston, identifies the following possibilities:
- Sex dominates an individual’s life to the exclusion of other activities.
- The individual engages in phone sex, computer sex, use of prostitutes, pornography, or exhibitionist.
- The person habitually masturbates.
- The individual has multiple sexual partners or cheats on partners.
- In extreme cases, the person engages in criminal activities, including stalking, rape, incest, or child molestation.
Sex is beautiful to be shared between persons, however, if you find that the sex itself is more important than the person you are involved with then it is time to stop and pay attention.
If you find yourself in the category of any of the above, you and your partner need to have a discussion and see if counselling is necessary. Being the loved one of a sex addict is especially difficult because you often become the addiction. “Setting your own boundaries and comfort limits is very hard to do with a sex partner, but you have the right to do what is best for you, so you need to risk telling them how you feel and what you need also,” says Nickerson. “Share your feelings and talk about what you are and are not willing to do. Always act in ways that make you feel comfortable, good about yourself, and safe.”
If the relationship is healthy, Nickerson says, a person will respond to the needs of his partner or spouse with a sex addiction. “To be clear about expressing what you need, how you feel, and how the addiction is impacting you.”
Sex is really about the celebration of love, no one should feel they are abused by sex.