The grass is greener syndrome affects couples living in a very steady manner. There is a nagging thought of having a better relationship. And you find someone else’s life or any other person more ideal than your partner. You feel that your present relationship is not capable enough to make you happy. How do you know that it is the grass is greener syndrome or your relationship has come to an end?
Constantly noticing what is wrong.
You are constantly picking on things that are not even important so start to check-in and take inventory. Notice when you have thoughts that feel bad and realize they only feel bad because you are approaching a situation from a perspective that is not serving you. You can turn that around, perspective remember.
Being critical and complaining often.
Constructive criticism does not hurt. It advises and informs. If you take it up another notch beyond constructive, it can destroy someone’s life. You may think you are helping if you are always criticizing your partner, but something else is happening. You find yourself alone or trapped in a negative cycle. There are consequences when you point a finger at someone.
A tendency to be a perfectionist.
I guess we are all guilty to some degree because we all want our relationship/marriages to be perfect, but if we are measuring our partner against unrealistic goals and expectations then you risk losing a relationship that could be perfect for you.
always on the lookout for opportunity. Ever notice that your friend’s girlfriend is more talented than your girlfriend, that when you go out with your woman the other women around has something on her, that you cannot see why guys would do a double-take on her, for some reason she is just not measuring up and it has to be her. I was talking to the men there for a mixture but ladies you know what I am talking about when most of the guys around are looking more appealing than your man? You find yourself being very nice to others, still searching for an opportunity to meet someone nice that fits your mould, and you feel that the reason you are still looking is that your partner is not measuring up.
Sabotaging things often or run away.
One of the main reasons why people sabotage their relationships is the fear of intimacy.
Because early trusting relationships with parents or caregivers were broken by abuse, people who fear intimacy believe that people who love them will inevitably hurt them. The big issue with this is if you find that intimacy makes you feel good but when commitment steps in that feeling of normalcy scare you and you think someone else will make you feel then it could be the syndrome.
Unable to commit to things.
You both have been together for a while, but you are feeling stuck, you are just not able to commit to things with your partner, if your partner was different, better, more suited for you, just not compatible enough and the list goes on, it may not be your partner, it could be you.
Future-focused to the point you never enjoy the present.
I think this quote said it all, “It is difficult to live in and enjoy the moment when you are thinking about the past or worrying about the future. You cannot change your past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about your future. Learn from the past, plan for the future. The more you live in and enjoy the present moment, the happier you will be.”
― Roy T. Bennett,
If may not be feeling your partner after many years of being together, there are no challenges really and things are as steady as she goes, if that is you then do not let the grass is greener syndrome destroy what you may never find again.